Vijaya Week 2

[Vijaya-Nagarajan]

Hey, this is my submission. I had technical problems. That is why it is late!

Discussion

[Vijaya-Nagarajan]

Trying again!

[Jody-Brettkelly]

Jody comments for Vijaya
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0in;”>VIJAYA, I AM LOVING ALL THIS ABOUT YOUR PARENTS –  WANT more AND MORE. THINK THAT WHOLE THING ABOUT VERY LONG MARRIAGES IS JUST AN UNEXPLORED SUBJECT TODAY WHERE EVERYTHING IS SHORT TERM AND INSTANT FULFILLMENT. WANT TO SEE WHAT YOUR MOTHER LOOKS LIKE AT EVERY TURN, WHAT SHE DOES IN HER DAY. LOVE IT! DEEP AND HONEST</p>
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0in;”></p>

[julierappaport]

Nice work Vijaya, my comments are in the text. Such rich material here. I would love to see things in scene more. You have laid the strong foundation on which to build scenes

[Elizabeth]

Vijajay—There is so much suggested here. This feels more directly written to the father—maybe I’m just more used to the conceit or maybe it’s connecting more to what the narrator (you) wants to say to him without concern for the reader? In any case, it seems that the important thing right now is for you to create this record of your feelings, memoires and interactions. There is so much story suggested here—character arcs, scenes—that is still in potentia. That is as it should be—but any of these are doors you might go back and walk through, open out.

 

 

Bravo!

Warmly,

 

Elizabeth

 

[Elizabeth]

Please note, I’ve made detailed comments on the manuscript as well.

[Author]

Replies