thais
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thaisMember@elizabeth You had a question from my plot change. You asked why I decided to change the Kanya’s father from the Pres. Protector to the protector. There was a love triangle between the Pres. Protector, protector, and Kanya’s mother. I needed a bigger motive for the hatred inside the Pres. Protector. He was betrayed by his closest friends. She fled and the other stayed and the pres. protector disfigured him. Kanya uncovers this story in the book and it allows her to understand why her mother left.
Do you miss having the Pres. Protector as Kanya’s father?
I like what you said about the last scene with the circle in the clouds. In my mind the book stops here. But I see that she already is strong when she leaves the tents so why would she need more strength from “God.” Maybe I but the imagery first as she hiking up the hill, and then she waves her final good-bye to her mother.
Thank you for your comments. I’m looking forward to developing this book beyond what I think that I can do. -Thais
thaisMemberWonderful! So moving. I’m tearing up. I love this dancing in the rain and the build up with the rain outside and then inside.
thaisMemberWow! Nice grab at the end. I’m wondering how dia feels about the miscarriages and how it relates back to Crash? Is she still thinking about him? Always a pleasure to read your story.
thaisMemberDear Sabina,
Another touching scene capturing the heartbreak of losing a child.
Thais
thaisMemberDear Devi,
Well, this was an exciting read. So much going on. I would love to stay longer with the Thompson’s but maybe that’s in other pages. Very much enjoyed reading this! I’ve gotten to the point with your edits on my pieces that I’m hearing your voice in my head, along with Elizabeth’s. Five years now!
thaisMemberDear Sabina,
Such a big moment this week. I was really there with you and felt in scene the whole time. Lovely.
Thais
thaisMemberDear Devi,
I’m just so intrigued by Crash and Dia. I love this story and look forward to reading all these little bits every time. I can’t wait to see this put all together in a book. It’s really very touching and complex.
Thais
thaisMemberUse this one for week 4.
thaisMemberHere’s my week 4 submission. It’s a stand-alone piece that I wrote and it was accepted for an audition for the Listen to Your Mother production. My audition is happening this coming Saturday. I’m bummed you can’t read the ending in this forum as the whole piece is just over 600 words. I’m hoping to get your encouragement mostly. Thanks so much, Thais
thaisMemberHI E – It looks like you attached last week’s story.
thaisMemberDear Sabina,
I really felt like I was there with the narrator. I liked how she went in and Sabrina was out of sorts with messed up hair. The narrator was able to reach her and even make her smile a little. They ate and the narrator even brushed her hair which was a nice image. -Thais
thaisMemberDear Devi, I loved this section. I definitely would have read more. This is great. I said to myself. That’s it. That’s 500 words? I would have kept reading. I love this inner struggle and the contrast with her current reality.
thaisMemberThank you E! Looks like you may have forgotten to attach ms.
thaisMemberBig moment. The ring in a box. Loved all the boxes. So unexpected that she accepted right away. Can’t wait to read if her husband will be a good husband.
thaisMemberDear Devi,
I love the suspense. The music starting to play. I want Dia and Crash together. They obviously love each other. So for me this scene is heartbreaking. I want Dia to find Crash and hug him. Cry. Cling to him. I’m interested in this moment when Dia is about to get married but she wants to see Crash one last time. Where is she? Where is she looking?
On second pass I see that Marco’s family history might be revealing part of the mystery. Love all the different players involved.Thais
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