Bree LeMaire
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Hi Lee,
Yes, this is a change in the story. Poor Sidney.
Hope to be reading further writing about Amina.
BreeDear Liz,
Well I’m not quite ready to go out and get a pet but you surely are enticing me.
These are both great.Hi All,
Have been getting lost in the computer in finding this group. Think I was looking into the 2014 Salon and couldn’t find us, which makes sense.
Anyway I did find you and this is my #5 submission. the beginnings of a short story I’ve been working on called the Drug Dealer.Dear All,
Am going to resend my week #4 submission. Don’t know what happened.
This is a stand alone piece that I wrote awhile back and rewrote for this class. Would like suggestions on where to elaborate or flush out places.
Thanks,
BreeHi Fellow writers,
This is a piece I wrote as a draft last month, that I want to improve upon.
It’s short, a first draft so I want to know where to add or elaborate. That’s one of the things I have trouble with, getting the description down.
Appreciate your feedback.
Have finished Match.com and will read it on Tuesday night. Nice to have a legit short story with a beginning, middle and end– ready for submission.
Bree.Think I missed something as I’m looking for Liz’s feedback for week #3.
Still getting used to this method of communication, so could have easily missed a vital missive.
Appreciate any help.
BreeHi Lee,
Love this musical mystery and appreciate learning about another’s religious practices.
What happens next???Hi Liz, Still am hooked into your “Petition” idea. So very innovative.
Here are my readers comments.Here is the end of my short story. I reworked the pieces you’ve already read but will not include them here.
Thank you for reading this.
BreeHi Lee,
++ like the way the guard refers to the musicians as the “brass players” or the “violinists”.
++ Love the statement that a musician is never finished practicing and the sentences afterwards. Shows your expertise.
~~ want her be more upset that someone stole her scarf, make some suppositions.
__ Why would he ask of the thief was a female/ Maybe a “Do you think. . . ” type of sentence.
~~ Why would she not want an escort to the garage, especially after what happened?
~~ Why would someone resent a Muslim? I don’t have any background in this and need to be educated.
Yes, as always I want to know what happens.Hi Liz,
Love the concept of meditation with a pet.
the Schipperke breed must be tailor made for sitting quietly.
++ Yes, you do describe the “should” that creep into our consciousness during meditation.
~~ want to have your personal experience of how you got into meditation.
Your credentials are impressive but I want to see how your can be an expert in petition. Your past education doesn’t reflect that.
I do suspect that you have had exposure to the area or you wouldn’t write about it.
Yes, I want more.
Bree
