Week 6 – Jody- Snow is Shot

[Jody-Brettkelly]

Week Six, I am away until late Monday, so have to post now, sorry. This is towards the end.

Discussion

[julierappaport]

I love the shift in this scene in terms of content. I also love all the details so that the characters are vivid and very immediate. I am still curious as to what happened before this scene and would love to read more. You also capture the way the characters interact in a believable way. The situation, the murder in the cell is compelling and makes me ask questions about who and why too. Great work.

[Elizabeth]

 

Jody,

 

This is terrific. I love the attitude and the humor (as always) and the real problem this is for Tracy. It’s unexpected but totally believable. You’ve got great dialog—with subtext—and great details and actions. Your main job is to interweave them. Focus on breaking up those beats. Read it aloud. Notice where you pause. You want a line of description there or a tag. Notice where you change your tone—and let us know the character is doing that. Read it aloud is the best trick here. Get the rhythm on top of this wonderful humor and vivacity and you’ll be set.

 

Warmly,

Elizabeth

[Author]

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