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This is a wonderful piece of writing, Julie. Very well-written. I love the beautiful descriptions, the evoking of place you do so well, the constant play on being lost in the temple. You feel a connection with the character, the way she thinks, the way she moves through the world. I really like her. I cannot wait to hear what happens next! Keep on going!
<p class=”p1″>NICE, LOVE IT, MIRROR OF HER LIFE, WISH I COULD DISCOVER THIS PLACE AND FIND EVERYTHING THAT I’VE EVER LOST!. LOVE ALL THE DETAILS LIKE LOVE THE MYRIAD OF DETAILS YOU INCLUDE AND IMAGES LIKE temple gods playing musical chairs, HUMOROUS AND RELATABLE. THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT HER BEING IN THESE ROOMS IN THIS TEMPLE THAT MAKES ME THINK OF THAT CLASSIC NOVEL (BRITISH WRITER) WHERE THE MIDDLE AGED WOMAN ENTERS THE CAVES AND HAS A SPIRITUAL EPIPHANY EVEN THOUGH SHE IS VERY DISORIENTED. THERE IS SOMETHING DREAMLIKE AND HALL OF STRANGE MIRRORS ABOUT IT.</p>
<p class=”p2″></p>Jody and Vijaya thank you -so helpful. I’m glad that you can relate to this scene even though these few 500 word pieces have been mostly out of order. It gives me hope somehow.
Jody: the book you are referencing is “Passage to India.” E. M. Forster one of the great writers! I read it just once a long time ago, and loved it for the writing. I remember the caves but forgot about the spiritual epiphany. I somehow remember her being very terrified. I have resisted looking at that book for fear of it influencing me too much- but that might not be a bad thing.: ) Zadie Smith’s book “On Beauty” was a redo/homage of E.M. Forster’s “Howard’s End” which I couldn’t get through for the life of me! Of course, this is, in a way, Lucy’s Passage to India- she’s on a journey.hmm. perhaps there is something archetypal about this scene because I didn’t reference Forster but good to know it’s bringing him to mind.
Julie,
This adventure is great. I love the ideas here—lost or found, etc. Important and resonant with all of us. I love her being forcefully guided away from Nita. Does she worry about this? I love all the details and could take more! I am excited to see what happens next, to see if she can find some cure here, some shift . . .
Warmly,
Elizabeth
Thank you Elizabeth,
I’m not sure if we are “allowed” to post questions but it would be nice to have a conversation about the comments to clarify things. The dropped subjects are intentional and a response to past salon feedback and Insights that recommended dropping the reader into the scene without too many “I’s” and “She/He’s” I guess a balance can be struck. I agree they do stand out and maybe that pulls the reader out too. Not sure how to resolve this.
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