-
Discussion
-
-
Replies
-
CeeCee By Jody Brettkelly
Jess, Taylor and I took turns having a quick riffle through the rack of dresses in Ruby Dunes. ( I am so happy to be back reading this story!)
We decided we’d all try on the pleated Ikat long frocks. ( SEEMS TO SPELL DISASTER FROM THIS LINE – GREAT.) I took the ice blue one, Taylor the bright fuchia, a color which funnily enough had always looked perfect with her red hair and Jess, the minty green.
“Remember how Mum had always made us the same dress, different colors for church on Sunday. “ said Taylor. “I always got brown. Not fair.” ( This puts us right into the dynamic of the 3 sisters.)“Are they really cool…” I asked plucking at my dress.
“Or do they look like nighties?” Taylor answered.
“Nighties.” said Jess decisively.
“Right – money saved” I said. ( This dialogue is perfect! All three chime in and read each other’s minds. THIS SUMS UP THEIR CLOSENESS KEEP DOING THIS!)We were about to get back into the changing room to take the dresses off when a white raffia swing ( I don’t know what this is?)
The owner of the store, CeeCee, was sitting outside, perched on the side of the deck slugging out of a Heneiken and wearing one of the pleated dresses we’d just tried on, hers was in blush pink. GREAT
“Yes. Nightie with a belt” Jess muttered and we all sniggered. MAYBE A BIT MEAN BUT APT IT SAYS SOMETHING.
She still a deep tan, but it was muddier now and worn. I LIKE THIS NEVER HEARD A TAN BEING DESCRIBED AS MUDDY. The foam-tousled hair and the multiple jangling bracelets I KNOW THIS PERSON! SO CLEAR
“You ladies local?” said Ceecee.
Oh brother. CeeCee lived up the beach from us for at least six years. She had been relentlessly mean ( MORE SPECIFICS, HOW? LOVE TO KNOW)“CeeCee” said Jess “you know how they told us in school that smoking drugs would dull the memory?”
“Oh shit, it’s you Taylor.( GOOD DIALOGUE) Hi Jess, sorry I didn’t see you there. God, Taylor” she added looking Taylor up and down, her eyes resting on her hips “you haven’t changed.”
“Sweet of you to say, Ceec” said Taylor.
CeeCee took another chug of her beer and picked up her phone, losing interest in the conversation before it had even really started. There were three women standing in front of her but she’d only acknowledged two. Classic fucking CeeCee. ( ALSO, IT SEEMS A LITTLE ABRUPT THAT SHE JUST STOPS DEALING WITH ALL OF THEM, )Jody:
I love the details in the color of the frocks, the relationship between the sisters ( I think you really have this down) the snakiness that is sometimes between them now focused on CeeCee- I like that they join together when under assault. ( I may be reading to much into this) The presence of the ocean surfer culture seems important somehow- the place too. It’s fun to be back in the world of the sister’s again. Great work looking forward to more! Is one sister missing? I thought maybe there were four?
Jody—I love these “Charlie’s Angels” sisters in their three nightie-dresses. I don’t know what the stakes are or how this fits into the larger story, but what drove me was figuring out the dynamics between the sisters, and the humor.]
I am humbling reversing my position on putting everything in the comments. I’ve just pasted my many, many notes into three people’s comments and it’s just too time consuming. I am going to upload the doc. I’ve put my comments right in the text in editorial parenthesis, underlining the lines I’m discussing. Next week I will simply track changes in the document. It doesn’t seem hard to open docs anyway . . . Thanks!
Log in to reply.