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Discussion
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Hi Jean,
I enjoy the humor of your description of the guy with the flatulence and tums around his mouth — May must still be attractive. I like how you incorporate different genres — Rumi, an apartment description. I like how you aren’t afraid to use fragments if it sounds more like realistic thinking — which it does. This is a believable portrait of a woman on a physical journey, who is also on a spiritual journey and on an artistic journey — all about color, light, truth — I wonder what the title of this novella will be? And it makes me wonder if May’s mantra: the content is of no importance — how that will help her or hinder her along her journey, if that will stay with her or if she will throw it off and change it — right now she seems vulnerable and susceptible to the preachings and kindnesses of others — my hope for her is that she finds strength and clarity from inside herself if this is an upbeat story . . but maybe not! I can’t wait to read on and find out . . but I am enjoying getting to know this character and all her complexity — I don’t have any suggestions at this point — but since May went to Yale, I’m pretty sure yoga, Rumi and oil paint are not going to solve her life problems . . and look forward to seeing them unfold!
MollieHi Jean,
The juxtaposition between May’s “long lost fertile self” and her current self who has to talk herself out of “excuses and negative self-talk” is a powerful and very human one that really draws me into her story. I am rooting for her to have a rebirth of sorts and revive some of that passion of her younger self whose “hand could barely keep up with the tip of her pencil.” Though you use the phrase “chalky, white leftovers” to describe the Tums, this description also seems to apply to the bleakness of May’s life now, and I long for her to move into the “color, light and truth” (beautiful!) of the life she hopes to have. These short phrases convey so much about May’s loss of vitality and turn her into such a compelling character. The descriptions of the setting “soft, warm, sulfur air” “tiled rooftops” are so vivid and make me look forward to even more tactile images. I can’t wait to read more of May’s story — maybe more information about what happened after she left Yale, her early marriage, what early motherhood was like for her, but maybe this is coming up in later chapters. Keep it up — I am hooked!Jean,
I love the writing here and the details. Just gorgeous. And perhaps most importantly, I am on board with the character. I want her to connect—to her art, to herself, to another person. I love Howard in this, too. I think she loosened up for me here, became younger, if you will, a lead character. I was on her side in her irritations.
Other than my question about Howard—which may well be a reader’s question (one that will pull me through the book rather than a problem or issue for you)—I think my big comment to you is, keep it coming!
Warmly,
Elizabeth
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