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Hi Jean,
I feel I’m a Forster novel, that with some Woolfian stream of consciousness — the sensitive artist travelling alone in Ialy — rich description — in contemporary times — I love it, my favorite type of novel/novella. There is something wonderfully early twentieth century about “waving the little flag of tissue” and “are you on holiday alone dear?” “tipping her suitcase back” and the edic to paint the light. She feels fragile and yet determined to be strong like so many wonderful heroines. I love her painterly mindset “another dab of blue in the sky” contrasted with her desire to drag Alexander through the dirt. What an interesting and complex position to be in — having to be grateful for a generous settlement when May feels betrayed and pitied and humiliated to be replaced by “a more interesting woman” — nice twist that she isn’t the sexy younger thing — and even more wounding. I like the “whatever that meant” as we hear to trying to make sense of something that is so hard to accept. I also love “just more of the same imperfect present”. I also like how she is prompted to lie — teasing us readers with what else she might suddenly decide to do . . .keep going!
MollieHi Jean,
You use such precise, elegant language to describe complicated ideas in lines like “He took the barest of essentials;” “imperfect present;” “dismissing the lie May knows she senses” and “something in the tenor of her edict, not ought or should but must, gives the lie courage.” I love how with just a few short words you convey May’s depth of thought/emotion so well. The pain of the divorce is so palpable here and the irony of the other woman being not even younger or thinner is very funny but so sad at the same time, making May seem so believably real and human. You have definitely created a sympathetic character — I’m on her side, rooting for her luck to change and I want to follow her on her journey.
The conversation about the light is so lovely, and seems to symbolize some kind of rebirth that potentially is in store for May, that it would be nice to add some description of the physical countryside and the sky as the train moves across Italy, giving us an idea of what her new life might look like. W Just a small suggestion for an otherwise very moving piece. Looking forward to reading more!
Jean,
Well, that is my big question, but to it let me add that the writing is just lovely, confident and beautiful. The situation is believable, the character sympathetic. I love that the woman he left her for was “more interesting.” And that she liked her on TV. Just complex and strong. And I am excited, now that I understand it (and I am tired . . . so it may well just be me), that she lied and now is encouraged to embody the lie. I’m excited to see what happens next. And I love that character of the woman on the bus. So well drawn in such a short space.
(More comments in ms.)
Warmly,
Elizabeth
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