Devi Salon piece week 2

[Devi S. Laskar]

dia is getting married! but not to crash….

Discussion

[Sabina]

Devi,

Thank you for this.

I am almost glad she is not marrying Crash, since he is her friend’s husband!
I can feel her anguish, wanting to say good bye but pressure from her mom keeping her from doing so.

I loved the memories.  Makes me wonder how her relationship with Crash started and when?

I want to see who she is marrying and m hoping she gets away!

I feel the urgency and the feeling of it being too late.

Is this scene before or after the scene you put up last week?

I can’t wait to read more.

Thank you

 

Sabina

[thais]

Dear Devi,

I love the suspense. The music starting to play. I want Dia and Crash together. They obviously love each other. So for me this scene is heartbreaking. I want Dia to find Crash and hug him. Cry. Cling to him. I’m interested in this moment when Dia is about to get married but she wants to see Crash one last time. Where is she? Where is she looking?
On second pass I see that Marco’s family history might be revealing part of the mystery. Love all the different players involved.

Thais

[Elizabeth]

Devi–

 

 

Ooh—great. I love this turn. There’s a lot of wonderful tension in tis exchange, Devi, and wonderful description.

 

 

I know that you reworked this, but I also am pretty sure I’ve seen it before. (Maybe just when you wrote the pieces in craft?) In any case,  really want you to write new things for Salon, even if they are free-writing that you do in ten minutes. You are amazing at coming up with new material when you give yourself the littlest bit of time. (Do one craft exercise on this novel and send it to us!) And you are powering ahead with this story. Let’s build on the momentum of your SF workshop and get you adding new material, okay?

 

 (More comments in ms.)

Warmly,
Elizabeth

[Author]

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