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VIJAYA,
The last paragraph is so poignant and beautiful. I feel drawn in when you shift to what you see in his eyes. It seems important to everyone in the family to witness the way in which he changed at the end. Any other glimmers of that change that came before might be nice to write about so that you have the contrast to the preoccupation with work. You also build a good detailed description of what he is focused on. It seems like you are laying it out and finding your way.
HI VIKAYA,
I too thought the last para was so beautiful and heart-rending.<i style=”line-height: 1.5em;”> SO BEAUTIFUL AND YET SAD, HE HAD DISCOVERED THE MAGIC AND TREASURE OF HIS FAMILY VERY LATE. Too late? I found the juxtaposition between the public man – he was a great man who did enormous good – and the private man who did not spend time with his family for years, just so fascinating. Long to hear about impact on you and your mother and read loads more anecdotes in scene.</i>
Vijaya—This is rich, powerful material—I think you know this. I love the juxtaposition of his last week, of his eyes following his family, with the decades of public service, work and meetings without much time for the family. There is so much here. Each piece could be a door—the temple, the retirement home, the dowries and what happened to them. (Your own “Fiddler on the Roof” story.) I am so glad you are writing this material and, especially after our discussion last week of the ways the two responses hit you—the naysayer and the celebrant of your writing—I want you just to protect the flow and let it happen. There may be many stories, essays or books in this . . .
Warmly,
Elizabeth
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