All of these come alive, of course, with examples. So next week (or in my class at Book Passage on Saturday), examples will follow. Also, please post your own 100 words of dialog (including description, action and gesture, of course), below and I will edit/ comment on it. Or you may just share it for fun–or to let people know about your latest book–or for the joy of being alive . . .
7 Key Principles of Dialog
- Dialog is a wonderful place for quirky, unexpected language and phrases.
- Dialog is about rhythm. Beats are created by the externals of action, gesture and descriptions of setting as noticed by the narrator or main POV. Beats can also be created by internal thoughts and feelings. Finally, beats can be created by simple tags (he said, she said). Read your dialog aloud to find where you are inserting beats that are not on the page or inserting emotion that is not on the page, or tone, expression, action and gesture. Now put it on the page.
- Dialog pacing: Move actions and dialog around so that your reader can see and hear the characters at the same time, and so that the longer blocks of dialog get broken up a bit. If your reader is just hearing a character but not seeing her for a long time, said reader can float out of the room . . .
- Beats and dialog: BEAT to switch gear as the dialog does—action, reaction, gesture, something. Think about the speaker’s motivation in each phrase or sentence, and if you switch motivation, mark the beat with some visual cue.
- Dangling threads in dialog: Don’t feel the need to “wrap up” threads in dialog (or anywhere else). The reader picks up on the thread and follows it, even as another thread tangles in and we follow that one, too. The dangling end is more intriguing than the wrapped up end.
- Cross-talk and cross-purposes: Likewise, characters, like other people, rarely respond directly to each other. Each has his or her own agenda, own motivation. Follow that. Similarly, allow for sudden u-turns and surprises. We often have a great deal going on in our heads, so that we come out with our next line miles away from our last without any verbal stage directions. No? All that jump-cutting and cross-purposes really strengthen dialog.
- Cut throat-clearing and directions in dialog: Cut any throat-clearing or “directions” to the reader about the flow of the conversation that are currently happening in your dialog. Put them into action or gesture—what cues do the characters give each other.
Anything you want to add? And don’t forget to post your bit of dialog below:
I love your key principles, Elizabeth!
Here’s a bit of dialog from my (now finally finished?) second book.
Rafael gave the short version of how she ended up in Belgrade.
“So you’re a dancer.”
“Yep.”
Jaye’s eyes flashed in her square face. Rafael held her glance.
“What kind of dance? Sounds fun.”
“Contemporary, modern, experimental, weird.”
“Yeah?”
“You should sneak me into your base.”
“Right on.” Jaye’s goofy gapped teeth showed when she smiled. The spaces between them made her teeth looked planted individually in her mouth, like someone had stabbed a few white sticks in warm sand.
“I can’t believe any of this,” said Jaye. “I didn’t know if I’d be alive today.”
“Me, either. If you want to know the truth.”
“No kidding.”
“So what happened to you?” asked Rafael.
“How do you know Luck?”
“We met at a bar. Just a friend.”
Jaye put her fork down and sat more stiffly. “I can’t tell you about my mission or why I was on the road. I’m not allowed.”
“Sorry.”
“Can I ask you something personal then?”
“Go ahead.” Jaye slowly finished another bite of cake. She winked. “Come on, shoot.”
“Did you want to be a soldier?”
“What a question.”
“Why?”
“Life dream.”
“Oh.”
“What would happen if we didn’t have the military?”
“Peace?” answered Rafael.
“More like more slaughter.”
Rafael coughed. “Is your family pro-military?”
“You could say that.”
Katia–First, congratulations on finishing a solid draft! That’s terrific. I can tell there is energy and tension between these characters. I love the description of the teeth–original. In fact, almost each description of action and gesture intrigues me, in part because there are so few and in part because I love seeing the characters. This is such an important part of dialog, part, too, of subtext–action and gesture and detail give the reader clues as to what is NOT being said, or what is actually being said. There are a lot of beats in this exchange without so many of these action clues. I’d experiment with cutting the dialog down a bit and ramping up the non-verbal cues.
Here is a passage that is particularly dense–in wonderful and somewhat confusing ways:
“I can’t believe any of this,” said Jaye. “I didn’t know if I’d be alive today.”
“Me, either. If you want to know the truth.”
“No kidding.”
“So what happened to you?” asked Rafael.
“How do you know Luck?”
As a reader, I am intrigued by all that is happening in here–exciting suggestions of high stakes situations. Some of that might be much more transparent to me if I’d read the earlier scenes, so keep that in mind. I always think cross-talk–the completely different question answering a question, as here–is great. I do, though, want more clues about this dodge. Again, these would come in the form of action and gesture.
Clearly this is a rich story with powerful characters. I hope these comments are helpful! Thanks so much for posting.
Great class today, Elizabeth! Enjoyed meeting some new folks too. OK, so here’s my chunk…
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“Ryleigh wanted to kidnap you, you know.” Clare couldn’t really bring herself to look right at Daria. “Spirit you away so that all of us girls could be together.”
“Mom, you were sick. You couldn’t even get out of bed.” Daria put her hands on her hips. “It was better that you went to the hospital. You needed help.”
Clare nodded. “I know. She was strong enough for two, I think, but not for three.”
“Do you ever hear from her?”
Clare finally looked up and smiled right at Daria. “Of course.”
“Of course?” Daria gave her mother a puzzled glance, her head cocked to the side.
“She tried to talk me out of coming here. She said it was only going end in disappointment.”
Daria’s eyes opened wide in astonishment. “You mean you’re still together?”
“Like I said—of course. She’s the only reason I made it.”
“Wait—where is she?” Daria stared at her mother.
“She’s back in Arietta. Somebody has to take care of the bar when I’m not there. We usually work together, but she can handle it by herself, especially when it’s not tourist season.”
“And she’s been with you the whole time.” Daria spoke this as a statement, rather than a question, because somehow she already knew the answer.
Bob,
Great–I like what you are doing here. Thanks for posting.
First, in whose point of view is this scene? I couldn’t tell. Because of this line, “Clare couldn’t really bring herself to look right at Daria.” I thought it was Clare’s, but from the rest it was not clear. This line, “Daria spoke this as a statement, rather than a question, because somehow she already knew the answer.,” is in Daria’s POV.
You have a good rhythm of beats. The actions themselves could be developed. Try to avoid excessive dependence on where people are looking; see instead if you can sometimes show what they see. You’ve got the basic idea of using actions and gestures, but these are, at times, a bit broad in their pantomime of the emotions of the characters.
Strong, specific images and actions can do a lot of emotional work without signally exactly what it is they are conveying. Take, for example, “Daria’s eyes opened wide in astonishment.” First, eyes opening wide is a fairly standard way to show astonishment, so it would not be necessary to tell the reader that it is in astonishment that her eyes opened wide. But further, you might be able to come up with a more subtle gesture that captures many layers of emotion in this moment.
I hope this helps; I can see you zipping along in the right direction.
Warmly,
Elizabeth
Thanks Elizabeth – appreciate the feedback!