“island unto itself” by devi laskar

First let me say: some of you know that my agent sent my book out to editors at publishing houses a few weeks back. Word is still not in! It’s been slow summertime, fourth of July meant a whole week off apparently for many of the hard-working denizens of New York City, and we have only ONE response so far (a no—but she loved my main character).

My book has a big SURPRISE packed deep into it, and it’s going to take the right person with the right vision to take a risk on it. I’m okay with that. One of my colleagues (who is also a BWW member writer) had an initial round of rejections from 7 or 8 publishers, rewrote her book (that’s what professionals do—over and over again) and then her agent went out again and this time she had 2 or 3 offers, and her book is forthcoming from a prestigious New York publisher.

I’ve said it before but it bears saying again: The difference between successful people and everybody else is that successful people fail more often.

I’ve committed to sharing my journey with you, because I know there’s a lot of mystery about published authors, and if you want to become one, you have to rip the veil off that mystery and own the whole-lot-o’-hard-work behind it.

Is it pretty to fail in public? It doesn’t feel that way. But this is what it means to do the work. And the truth is, every best seller, every beloved book had people say no to it all along the way.

Check out Jaime Ford’s blog series about looking for an agent. It starts here and then keeps going–worth reading through until he announces his agent and shares his query letter. He blogged step-by-step about the process, and what was remarkable to me to note was this: at every step of the way from unagented manuscript to best-selling novel, people said no to him. He sent it out to his choice (but not small) group of well-researched agents. Some said no to his query letter, but some requested a “partial” (pages from his manuscript). Some said no after reading his partial, but some requested the full. Some said no after reading the full, but some offered representation—and in the end, he got to choose his agent from among those who said yes, yes and yes.

But look at all those “no’s” along the way.

Are you collecting your rejections?

I’ll tell you a secret. I hate rejections. I hate the “no.” I hate sending things out when the odds seem so stacked against me. I am not teaching you what I’m teaching you because it comes easily or naturally to me. I’m pushing myself at least as hard as I’m pushing you.

Someone said that people who avoid the path are not afraid of failure. People who are afraid of failure are pushing themselves, hard, into the zone of success. What people fear who aren’t pushing themselves at all — is success. Do you fear success?

I don’t think you are crazy if you do. Success is 1/10^th yes and 9/10^ths NO. As soon as you taste some of the yes, everyone wants to know how to do it. I started mentoring writers much older than me when I was 28, because I had a published novel.

But it’s what I’ve learned in the years since then that gives me something more valuable to teach:

1)   You never stop learning. No reason to make yourself into some brand of expert who can’t be on the student side of the auditorium. That only stunts you.

2)   You never get “good enough.” The reason so many intelligent, successful people choose writing—in my humble observation—is that it is the one place you will get pushed to go farther, do better, make it stronger. If you are used to writing your papers the night before (or morning that) they are due and getting an A, if you are that “really good” writer in your school or group—all you have to do is get with a bunch of other writers like you to find you have to work your a** off to stand out. More importantly, you start focusing on better competition: yu start wanting to best yourself and the time-tested authors you can’t live without. Ambition not easily satisfied—a real work out for mind, heart and soul.

3)   Helping others helps you become the best writer you can be. What you have to do to make it as a writer is to become an unbelievably good editor. That way, you can write like crazy—get the brilliance and the crap onto the page (because folks, they arrive all mixed up, just like failure and success) and know that you have the eye, the skill and the patience to sort it out later. And the way to become an incredible editor is to edit other people’s work. That’s one of the values of workshop.

Yesterday I heard from another BWW member writer who had a piece accepted in Salon. It was a piece that I read, and I wrote to her and said, this one will find a home. She hired me to edit it for her, and started sending it out. Yesterday she got an acceptance that will include a paycheck!

She had to collect some no’s to get that yes. Are you collecting rejections?

We’ve been talking for a while in the BWW about having an acceptance/ rejection party. The rules are: you have to bring at least 50 rejections to get in. If you have an acceptance, you bring the drinks. And we celebrate being on the path. Risking putting the work out into the world. Joining the ranks of the daring successful. Doing the real work of the writer. Living the life we were meant to live.

Talk to me in the comments below. Are you afraid of success? Are you out there collecting your rejections? What works for you?